Yes.. this morning I did it. I was able to get into a headstand position ( by myself with no support except the wall behind me), and hold the upside down-ness for 2 1/2 minutes.
Sure.. I came out of it shaking, shivering, quivering.. terror stricken.. but I DID it!
Sure.. it wasn't long that the tears flowed, and I needed to cry it out... but I DID it!
Sure... It took a loving hug from my daughter, and a good dozen deep breaths to calm myself.... but I DID it!
My first goal? 5 minutes headstand WITHOUT the terror. Achievable. I just have to keep the pressure on myself to continue facing the fear, and going past it.
My second goal? Handstand, even if just for a few seconds.. UGH... my heart quails at that one. ( I think that I'll go back to the first goal.) Just my hands! Just my hands touching the ground? It can't be that different from balancing on my feet, right? Feet aren't that much bigger than hands.. and I'm not afraid of standing on my feet. BUT.. Feet were built to be stood upon!
My third goal? Handstand for 5 minutes. Yeah sure.. sure.. It's possible. I just survived 2 1/2 minutes. If I can get past the whole balancing on my two hands part... oh GOSH!
My fourth goal? Handstand with 10 push ups. Oh Man! Will I EVER be able to do this one?
My fifth goal? Handstand on my knuckles.. oh heavens.. not even a slight daydream within me of reaching this level. But I give myself permission to "go for it".
AARGH... I really dislike fighting phobias.. what an awful place to be!
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8 comments:
Sending big good waves your way.
Hope they work!
Congrats on beating a fear! To my knowledge, this is the first I've heard of any Shotokan organization requiring headstands or handstands for a Shodan rank, but the fact you're trying to beat a phobia is to be applauded!
Be careful with your shoulders. Anytime your arms go over your head like that (especially with bodyweight), you are putting stress on an area of the body that doesn't recover well, or quickly, from damage. Make sure you're properly warmed up. Don't do this routine everyday. Physical injuries are real, phobias aren't.
Gee Mat.. those good vibs must be doing something.. because I didn't expect to get this far so fast. Thanks for the support!
Thanks Angel Zee.. but I haven't beat that fear yet.. I'm still wrestling with it. I've got it on the mat, and in a good arm lock, but it's always trying to gain control again.
I can understand your confusion towards the whole headstand/handstand issue. I train in 2 different arts at the same time: Shotokan, and Kyokushin.
I do not need to work on handstands for my Nidan, or Shodan Shotokan requirements. The physical rank requirements of Kyokushin are various, and handstands are part of them.
Ut oh, John. Um.... well.. I haven't been doing what you just suggested.. about properly warming up, and I definately wasn't doing your suggestion about NOT doing it everyday.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been forcing myself to invert as often as I could, but I wouldn't stay there very long. I'd go upside down, and get right back up again. No warm up. No preparation to get the fear juice going worse than it was.... I'd just stop whatever I was doing, get down on the floor, kick up my heels, and invert as fast as I could. I'd try for achieving this as often during the day as I could. Some days I only had the courage to do it once.. some days I would invert over 12 times. BUT I wouldn't let myself go to bed without doing it at least once. I always found the hardest part was making my feet leave the earth. I felt so vulnerable, and unbalanced when the feet were heading upwards....that's when the fear would hit the hardest.
AND yes.. As you have forecasted, I did lightly injure my left shoulder, and neck last week.. sigh... I paniced as I was heading up with my feet, and I lost balance and crumbled into a heap. But I stretched it out gently, and applied ice, and rested it the next day.. and I was back to inverting again very quickly.
Thank you for your advice. I can see where I was making mistakes now. So the best time to invert would be right after my karate classes when my muscles are all warmed up, and ready to go?
That's good. Also, a warmup of seated shoulder presses with a pair of 3 or 5 lb. dumbbells.
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