Friday, October 29, 2010

I've been quiet..

Yes.. truly, this chatterbox has been quiet for a long while.

Parenting, and household chores take up the great portion of my energy.

I'm still preparing for my future possible Black Belt test in Kyokushin. I'm not only working on the various physical requirements, and techniques that I need to do, but also working on my inner self. Some of these efforts just don't fit well on a blog. In fact, they might even be quite mundane, and boring, but for me they mean everything. We are talking about those age-old questions "Who am I?", "What is my purpose?", "Who do I want to be?" As I work towards achieving a Shodan in Kyokushin Karate, these questions pop right back to the forefront.

I know what I want to believe, and I know what I want to achieve, at least I have that solidity within me. Everything else seems to be up in the air at this point in time.

I'm sure that it is my age, and experiences which contributes to my questions, and searching. When I was younger the world seemed so black and white, and understandable. I had everything figured out. Now that I near a half century on this planet, not everything fits as well into the baskets that I had mentally designed. Only I can find my answers, I've noticed that other people's solutions just don't fit in with what I have within me.

Black Belt? I thought that I knew what it meant. I dedicated more than one posting on this weblog with what I thought it meant. I have to ask myself if these thoughts are truly what I believe, or have I evolved into a different understanding of it. Either way I am walking on the path towards that rank again.

Right now, I focus on my training.. on improving even the simplest of the basics, because I know that this is the necessary key to exploring advanced movements. Perhaps, in time, with more sweat equity, the inner answers will reveal themselves to me, by then I might just be old enough to be a grandmother.

2 comments:

MilkManX said...

Osu!

Yeah I hear ya!

It is like a constant circle that revolves. One answer found and many more to open up.

I have been training for my upcoming Shodan as well.

Best to you.

Osu!

Mathieu said...

Me a grandpa.

training is all there is to it right?