The potential black belt

I just realized that standing in front of a panel of black belts and testing for Shodan is NOT the hardest step of my karate life. No.. the most difficult time was when I first decided to start training in karate. THAT was the greatest hurdle because I was starting from nothing, and jumping into the unknown. When I stand in front of the Master, I will be revealing that which is already in me. So, I can only reveal that which I have gathered.. If I do not have the skills necessary to become a shodan, then it is not a shame to be told to go and get them. If I do have the skills, then it is not a problem to use them. Either way, all will be revealed, and the truth of who I am as a martial artist will surface. I have been told that a Black belt has a certain mind set, and that you can spot one even from the white belt stage. I remember Sensei Walter asking me to lead the class in warm up, when I was as low as the orange belt level (8th kyu) Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him with one of those happy "I know something you don't know" looks in my direction. He just keep looking at me with that.. I was filled with puzzlement at the time.. but now I wonder if he saw the potential black belt in me. Out of all of the former students of my first karate club, my husband and I are the only ones still training.